Frequently Asked Questions

  1. In a nutshell, how would you as a couples therapist describe yourself?
  2. In a single sentence, what do you do?
  3. What kinds of relationship problems do you work with?
  4. What are some of the benefits of your couples counseling?
  5. What qualifications set you apart from other couples therapists?
  6. What relationship counseling services do you offer?
  7. What approach do you use in your marriage counseling?
  8. How effective is your approach? 
  9. How often will we meet?
  10. How soon will we see results?
  11. What will happen at our first appointment?
  12. How long are your sessions?
  13. How long will we have to wait for an initial marriage counseling session?
  14. How can we maximize the likelihood of succeeding in couple counseling?
  15. What is a marriage counseling weekend intensive?
  16. How do you work with extramarital affairs?
  17. Do you ever recommend separation or divorce?
  18. What if my partner can’t or won’t join me in couple counseling?
  19. What if one or both of us are undecided about whether or not to stay in our relationship?
  20. Do you offer a faith-based or Christian approach to couples therapy?
  21. What are your fees for a marriage counseling session or a weekend intensive?
  22. Do you accept insurance payments?
  23. Do you have a sliding scale or do you offer reduced fees?
  24. What forms of payment do you accept?
  25. Do you offer a free get-acquainted session?
  26. What are your office hours for weekly (or twice weekly) marriage counseling sessions and for weekend intensives?
  27. What is your cancellation policy?
  28. What is your office location and mailing address?
  29. What are the directions to your office?
  30. How can we get a sense of who you are and if you’re the right marriage counselor for us?
  31. How can we schedule an appointment?

 


 

1. In a nutshell, how would you as a couples therapist describe yourself?

A. I’m a master marriage counselor with 35 years of experience, a proven approach, and a practice devoted entirely to helping couples.

2. In a single sentence, what do you do?

A. I help couples stop the pain, resolve their issues, and get the loving feelings back.    

3. What kinds of relationship problems do you work with?

A. Here are some of the problems where I can help:

  1. You’re in a crisis due to threats of divorce or an extramarital affair.
  2. You’re in constant destructive conflict.
  3. Your relationship is characterized by a “coldness” that seems to get worse every day.
  4. You are sexually dissatisfied.
  5. You’re having repeated fights over the same issues.
  6. You’re grieving the loss of joy and spontaneity in your relationship.

4. What are some of the benefits of your couples counseling?

A. Here’s what’s possible:

  1. You can heal the pain and restore lost love.
  2. You can discover how to really listen to and hear each other.
  3. You can increase trust and feel safer and more secure.
  4. You can know that your partner is really there for you when you’re hurting.
  5. You can rebuild your commitment to each other.
  6. You can enjoy each other again.
  7. You can have more time and energy for the other areas of your life.

5. What qualifications set you apart from other couples therapists?

A. I offer much more than your average marriage counselor and here’s why:

  1. I have 35 years of experience as a couples therapist succeeding with thousands of couples.
  2. I use a scientifically proven approach to couples therapy that brings nearly 75% of distressed couples to recovery and 90% to significant improvement.
  3. My therapy practice is devoted entirely to solving couple problems, whether I work with both partners or just one.
  4. I’m both a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed clinical psychologist.
  5. I’ve flown all across the country conducting marriage rescue workshops for couples on the edge of divorce.
  6. I’ve had tremendous success helping couples to heal from infidelity using my Affair Recovery Program.
  7. I do marriage counseling weekend intensives for couples who want quick results.

For more information about my qualifications, please visit my About Dr. Jay Lindsay page.

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6. What relationship counseling services do you offer?

A. I offer the following:

  1. Weekly (or more than once a week) marriage counseling… if you want to make steady progress.
  2. Marriage counseling weekend intensives… if you want to make rapid progress.
  3. The Affair Recovery Program… if you want to heal from infidelity.
  4. Faith-based or Christian marriage counseling… if you want faith to be a part of your therapy experience.

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7. What approach do you use in your marriage counseling?

A. Over the past 35 years, I have been trained in or have studied virtually every major approach to marriage counseling that exists.

However, I primarily use Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) because it has been proven to be highly effective by more than 25 years of research.

I was the first therapist in our seven-state Rocky Mountain region to become fully trained and certified in EFT, so I’ve done more EFT with couples than any other therapist in our part of the nation.

For more details please visit my Approach page.

8. How effective is your approach?

A. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), brings 70-75% of distressed couples to recovery and 90% to significant improvement. This is according to a meta-analysis of four of the best studies on couple therapy.

Fully 86% of couples report feeling happier in their relationships after EFT.

Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy

9. How often will we meet?

A. Every couple is different. Together, we will determine what frequency is likely to work best for you given your therapy needs, your availability to meet, and your resources.

In my experience, the couples who have the most positive outcomes from couples counseling attend once or twice weekly during the first half of treatment. During the second half, I gradually phase back the frequency of meetings, going to once every two weeks and then once a month.

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10. How soon will we see results?

A. You may begin to see results by the end of your fourth session, and possibly sooner. Full results come from successfully completing marriage counseling and, according to statistics, this normally takes 12-20 sessions.

11. What will happen at our first appointment?

A. Here’s what will happen when we meet together for the first time:

  1. I’ll ask each of you to take a turn telling me how you view the problems in your relationship.
  2. I’ll guide you in a three-way conversation about the problems so that we can gain greater clarity.
  3. I’ll help you pinpoint your negative interaction patterns and show you how they have effected your closeness.
  4. I’ll give you feedback about how I see the problems and I’ll tell you what I will do to help you exit your negative interaction patterns, resolve your issues and get the loving feelings back.

12. How long are your sessions?

A. One full hour, with the exception of the initial session which might run as long as 75 minutes.

If you like, at the beginning of your marriage counseling you can jump-start your couple therapy by scheduling several sessions back-to-back or by scheduling more than one session per week.

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13. How long will we have to wait for an initial marriage counseling session?

A. Generally, I can book an appointment within a week.

14. How can we maximize the likelihood of succeeding in couple counseling?

A. Here’s what you can do maximize your chances of success:

  1. Attend your marriage counseling sessions regularly.
  2. Enter fully into the therapy process.
  3. Complete the entire course of treatment.

15. What is a marriage counseling weekend intensive?

A. In addition to the weekly (or twice weekly) marriage counseling sessions I do, I offer marriage counseling weekend intensives to couples who want quick results.

On a weekend intensive, I work privately with just one couple in a highly focused way for five hours per day for two, three, or four days. Couples fly in from all over the United States and Canada for these intensives.

For more information, see my marriage counseling weekend intensives page.

16. How do you work with extramarital affairs?

A. I specialize in helping couples heal from infidelity.

To help a couple get past an affair, I carefully guide them through seven stages of recovery that I have discovered couples must move through if they are to heal.

These seven stages are the basis of the highly effective Affair Recovery Program that I have developed over the past 35 years. This program has helped affair-stricken couples from all across the continent to save their marriages.

The Affair Recovery Program is available in two formats: weekly (or twice weekly couple therapy) and, for couples who want quick results, the weekend intensive.

For details please see my Affair Recovery Program page.

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17. Do you ever recommend separation or divorce?

A. Once in a while I recommend a “therapeutic separation” either to protect a partner who is in physical danger or to break up a toxic negative interaction pattern that has not yielded to other approaches. However, this is rare.

I never recommend divorce. Instead, I encourage distressed couples to give their marriage a chance. Over the past 35 years, I’ve succeeded with hundreds of couples who thought their marriage was broken beyond repair.

18. What if my partner can’t or won’t join me in couple counseling?

A. Then come in by yourself. I have specific approaches I’ll use to help you improve and maybe even save your relationship acting alone.

19. What if one or both of us are undecided about whether or not to stay in our relationship?

A. We’ll do what I call “experimental couple therapy.” I’ll guide you in conducting some “relational experiments” which will provide you with “data” that will help you see the positive potential in your relationship.

20. Do you offer a faith-based or Christian approach to couples therapy?

A. I am a Christian and, for couples who request it, I will integrate Christian principles and practices into their marriage counseling.

For more details please visit my Faith-Based Marriage Counseling page.

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21. What are your fees for a marriage counseling session or a weekend intensive?

A. I will let you know my current fees when we talk on the phone.

22. Do you accept insurance payments?

A. In the interest of providing full quality care, I have chosen not to participate in any managed care insurance program. However, if your plan has “out-of-network benefits”, then you probably can get some coverage to see me that way. Check with your insurance company about this.

If you are wanting to do a weekend intensive with me, please be advised that most insurance companies will cover no more than one session per day.

23. Do you have a sliding scale or do you offer reduced fees?

A. I do not offer an across-the-board sliding scale. However, occasionally I reduce my fees for couples with special financial needs. I am most likely to do this for ministers, missionaries, and humanitarian workers.

If you have special financial needs, be sure to let me know this when you contact me.

24. What forms of payment do you accept?

A. I accept cash, checks (in-state only), and all major credit cards except American Express. Payment is expected at the end of each session or weekend intensive.

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25. Do you offer a free get-acquainted session?

A. I offer a complimentary 10-15 minute phone consultation.

26. What are your office hours for weekly (or twice weekly) marriage counseling sessions and for weekend intensives?

A. For weekly (or twice weekly) marriage counseling sessions, I am available on weekdays from 11:00 AM to 6:30 PM.

For my weekend intensives, I am available on Friday through Monday. Each day I start at 11:00 AM, except for Sundays when I start at 12:00 Noon.

On my weekend intensives, I do five hours of highly focused marriage counseling per day, not including lunch and rest breaks.

27. What is your cancellation policy?

A. I generally require 24 hours advance notice to cancel a session. For more information about what is and is not an exception to this policy, please see the “Therapy Attendance Policies” in your intake packet.

28. What is your office location and mailing address?

A. My office location and mailing address is: 357 S. McCaslin Boulevard, Louisville, Colorado, 80057.

Please visit the Contact page for directions to my office.

29. What are the directions to your office?

A. Please visit my Directions page.

30. How can we get a sense of who you are and if you’re the right marriage counselor for us?

A. Here’s what you can do:

  1. Read the following pages on this website: the Home page, the About Dr. Jay Lindsay page, and the Approach page.
  2. Read the free report available for order on the sidebar of this website: How to Find a Highly Effective Couple Therapist.
  3. Contact me and request a complimentary 10-15 minute phone consultation during which you can share with me about your situation and ask me questions about my practice and how I can help you.

I find that couples who take all three of these steps usually get a pretty good sense of who I am and whether or not we are likely to “click.”

31. How can we schedule an appointment?

A. For details about how to schedule an appointment, please visit my Contact page.

Call me now at 720-598-0990. 

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Psychologist and master couples therapist Dr. Jay Lindsay provides marriage or couples counseling to couples who are struggling and relationship counseling to individuals, whether they are in a relationship or single. Dr. Lindsay has 35 years of experience. His office in Louisville, Colorado serves Boulder, Longmont, Broomfield, Westminster, and Denver.